Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds

Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere Vol 3: The Good, The Bad And The Bubbly:

So where were we..?

Nottingham I believe. What a night that was. Even the soundcheck was great. Only our third gig and it was soaring...majestic...like an eagle or something!

The crowd were immense. Did I spy a leg bomber out there somewhere? I think I did! Always a welcome sight. 

I'm STILL fannying around with the set. Almost there with it now. It's getting better...man!! (Ha-ha!)

Legged it straight off stage for a 4 hour drive up to Glasgow. Mind numbingly boring. It was made barely bearable by the Terry Tibbs Phone-in on Talk Sport. My god it was funny. Get on it if you can, it's fucking insane. Arrived into Glasgow at 3am...

Fuck me I need a haircut (another thing I forgot to do before I came away!). Problem is see, I have Irish hair and as any Irish man will tell you we have hair that doesn't grow in straight lines. Mine grows but doesn't get longer, it gets wider!!!

If I didn't rely on myself so much I'd have fired myself from this tour already... If I don't mention it anymore I might forget about it and let myself off, so let's move on.

The next day I'd agreed to do an in-store record signing thing at HMV in Glasgow...There were people there of all shapes and sizes and...even a few girls...real ones. I did feel a bit like Father Christmas at a grotto somewhere in the 70's.

There were some tears..not mine I might add...

Some guy had gifted me, as some kind of reward for his musical journey since '94, a betting slip in which he'd kindly placed a £3 bet for me on Man City to beat Burnley next Saturday! Let's hope the blues do the business and...well...The Milky Bars will be on me!!(that's a 70's joke there for you). 

After signing all sorts of shit for about an hour it's fair to say R-KID has banged out a few cagoules in Glasgow... I might have been the only male in the shop not wearing one!! They do look good though, I must say.

The Hydro is, so my Scottish aftershave drinking pals tell me, a world class venue! I'll let you know in about 2 years, when this tour finishes, if that is indeed true. I'll tell you what is world class though...TRULY world class...is that fucking crowd.

Holy shit-balls... I've seen and done some shit in my time but I'm damned if I can remember anything to match that Saturday night!?! One of THE BEST nights I've ever done, ANYWHERE.

The kind of night you live for... A real privilege to have been there, nevermind actually being onstage. All downhill from that now surely? Saying that, they might have something to say about that in Manchester!

The toe-stub is...and there's no other way of saying this...a cunt. You know 'The Stub'? Of course you do! We've all done it, you know...stumbling round a bedroom minding your own business then all of a sudden...AAAARRRGH YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!! You stub your toe on one of the bed legs...and whisper silently but very forcefully...'BASTARD!'. Middle toe...left foot...(my favourite actually)...STUBBED... STUBBED JERRY!!!!

It's fucking sore. I have a slight limp. Iree Nancy laughed her beautiful little arse off... it's all bruised and sad looking (my toe NOT her arse!). Good job I'm not known for blaming it on the boogie so to speak... I shan't let it affect my performance.

You currently find me with my foot up in Manchester, and you better be good tonight because the Glasgow massive booed when I suggested tonight might be the only place in Britain that could even compare with Saturday... Just saying.

I must go and literally hop in the shower, but before I do let me thank everyone who has bought my new record, pushing it up to where it belongs...on the topper most of the popper most! FANK YOU!!

ONWARDS.

GD.

PS: Today I will be mostly listening to THE LONELY SURFER by Jack Nitzsche.

Get on it..

Noel's back with his award winning tales from the road. Here's the first of many... Enjoy!

Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere Vol 3: The Good, The Bad And The Bubbly:

Yes Mods And Rockers.
How long has it been...3...4 years? Too long? Not long enough? I'd say just about right myself.
Time to top up the air miles, clear the throat and get on your dancing feet we are of course back at the coal face...earning a crust, same firm, same venues, different songs (even though 'some of the chords are the same' Ha-ha!! Fuck you shitty Empire!!). That "new" album of mine is well over a year old to me now so it will be interesting to see what people make of it (thanks for buying it by the way...if you have already!). Must say its gone down spectacularly well so far. Starting off in such huge venues was always gonna be a bit of a Titus Bramble, but it's paid off so far. Most people have been commenting after the shows about how spectacular the "show" is which is slightly frustrating (as I never get to see it ) and a blessing at the same time as it keeps the focus off me.

So Belfast... for a first attempt I thought it was fucking good. Bit shaky in places, mostly me I might add, but all things considered a good away win. It goes without saying but of course should not get left unsaid that the crowd were bang up for it. Really special atmosphere in the room, so much so it was quite difficult to concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing and not just stand back and let them take over. I fear in places I may have lost that battle!! I suppose it beats the shit out of indifference though eh? Nice to see a few inevitably familiar faces down the front...from all over the world! Some lad had a banner down the front that read: HEAR COMES GALLAGHER THE BISCUIT! Clearly this lad was high when he'd put pen to cardboard on that!
I have no idea what it meant, I did ask him to try and get to the bottom of it, but I'm afraid his accent got the better of me so I gave up.

The set list as we speak has changed 18 times now since the start of rehearsals. It's not like me to have not nailed it months ago...I've become a fiddler! I fucking HATE fiddlers...unless it's a drunk Irish man in a bar full of Guinness fiddling as if his life depended on it! I think it's because I've got SO MANY GREAT FUCKING SONGS that I'm struggling with what NOT to play. I'm sure I'll get there in the end though...somewhere in Taiwan in 2017 no doubt!?
Packing a suitcase for a 3 week tour with a fucking DISGRACEFUL hangover is not to be recommended...I know this now... The night before the morning I came away me and Iree Nancy went out, and didn't make it in 'til gone 6:00...(fucking excellent night btw!). 

I open my suitcase to find I'd packed it like a novice...like 13 pairs of cords (which I have no intention of wearing) 4 pairs of trainers (I don't even wear trainers...especially on stage!), the most ridiculous array of t-shirts that quite frankly a man should never be seen in and...( and this is the fucking killer...) NO LEATHER JACKETS...NOT ONE!!! The first time in 25 years I've been on the road without a leather jacket! Unforgivable shit that...I was in a fury...I sent myself a rather snippy email AND a shouty text...SEE ME IN MY HOT TUB YOU CUNT!!!! I sat myself down and we talked it through...like adults admittedly...no raised voices...at first we understandably blamed each other but in the end we both knew that it was I that was in the wrong and could blame no-one else but myself (although Nancy's name did come into it at one point!). You find me now on my final warning. One more gaff like that and I've been told in no uncertain terms that I'm off the tour...Bang...Gone.
The atmosphere in my dressing room is a bit frosty but we're working our way through it.
They say time is a great healer and for the sake of everyone (you included!) let's hope that's true.

Anyway, Dublin, as you well know one my mostest bestest places on earth.
In a way it's great to kick things off in Ireland...In another way you kind of wish you'd arrive 6 weeks into a tour...I'm only operating at 75% myself see (had a cold for about 4 weeks now and I cannot shift it!) but as always the Irish dug me out of a hole. What a night!
The Biggest Guns Ireland has to offer had flown in from their own rehearsals in France, just for the night, to have a nosy and see what was being said and of course to talk turkey and generally misbehave and celebrate...well I'm not sure...but celebrate we did... not as hard as my bass player-the right honourable Jah-Rusta-Fari-Russell Pritchard, who I think got his end of tour party going early. "IZ FUCKIN'DARE THE EDGE LAD...GOT ANY CHAMPERS?!?" is something you don't here shouted very often (I would hazard a guess neither does The Edge lad!).
Iree Nancy got the night off to the best of starts by arriving with my eldest AND TWO leather jackets! First crisis of the tour overcome...the black stuff went down and down and down until we simply HAD to leave... Ireland, the land of my fathers, I love you very much. You haven't seen the last of me...not by a long shot...be good...and if you can't be good... be Bono!!

Arrived at East Midlands airport late last night to be met by 2 young coppers...one which says..."Evening sir can you just come this way please..round the side of the van please (a police van!)...Erm is it ok if we get a quick picture?"
GD:"Yeah 'course man.."
PC:"Shall we do it up against the back of the van for a laugh...?"
GD:"Sorry...?"
PC:"Don't worry, we won't tazer you!"
GD:"What?"
PC:"Tazer you...we WON'T tazer you?"
GD:"What..?!?!?!"
PC:"Can we JUST GET a quick picture?"
GD:"YEEEEESSSSS!!!!!"
2nd PC:"Sorry mate..he's a bit star struck"
GD:"...I'm kind of hungover...and in a rush so....."
You find me un-tazered on a golf course in Derbyshire.
About to get ready for the show tonight in Nottingham...if you're coming check out the visuals apparently they're AWESOME!

ONWARDS.

(PS) Today I have been mostly listening to Lying in the Sun by Koushik

David Mihalyi from Hungary won our fan competition last month to interview Noel face to face in London. See how they got on and what questions David asked Noel, in what was the first interview he's ever conducted. Here's part 1 of 3. Enjoy!

Noel: "Dave from Hungary? Sounds like a character in a f*cking Harry Enfield sketch."

In the third and final installment of Behind The Rainbow's End Noel talks to The Telegraph about guitar solos, writing in innocuous places and why this LP is like a great TV series.

In Part 2 of Behind The Rainbow's End, Noel talks about working with session musicians and singers on the LP over on The Telegraph.